the exile within

Friday is the cosiest day at home. Being that my parents and sisters are away this week, I go through the routine on my own, savouring every moment: switching on the radio, making coffee, lounging on the sofa… The eight days of Hanukkah have just come to a close. It has always been my favourite holiday in the Jewish calendar, signifying the light and hope carried within us all. But this year our traditional family celebration was tarred by my late grandmother’s absence. She would have all the children (anyone single or unmarried is considered a child…) sit on the carpet underneath a big and colourful cardboard dreidle hanging on a string from the ceiling. We would then sing Hanukkah songs and clap to the rhythm as loud as we could. When she was satisfied she would gradually let the dreidle down, revealing the goodies inside for everyone to share… we still follow this ritual, though it will always remain somehow hollow without her. Even the candles don’t shine as bright anymore, it seems. 

 

Jerusalem didn’t offer much consolation this week. Once again getting completely lost driving (no pedestrians I ask can ever give me instructions in Jerusalem - it was as if they all lived on nameless streets, only following specific, predetermined routes from home to work and back), I at least get to see things that I wouldn’t under normal conditions. Orthodox Jews scuttling around the streets of Me’aa Shearim, all dressed in black, young and old. A procession of Chabad cars, the renowned missionary Jewish organisation, carrying electric Hanukkah lamps on their roofs. Arab guys in beaten up Subaro cars, giving me the finger as they drive by in Abu Tor. Manic drivers honking behind me, anxious, perhaps, to make their family dinners on time. The holiday is definitely felt, but it’s as if Jerusalem is choosing to mourn it rather than celebrate. 

 

This is not my world, I tell myself. Why do I even bother? On some days, you just want to shut the doors and keep the world out. It deserves itself just the way it is. 

 

But today, I did open my door, if only a slit, just to let the paper in. I come across Doron Rozenblum’s column which puts the smile back on my face without a hint of escapism. Reminding me with a wink that yes, I have everything to do with this, as do us all. Maybe it all begins with what we choose to believe. 

 

*

I heard that “Jerusalem fears“ again. 

 

What else is new? Jerusalem is always “fearing“. Just like it has hummus Taami and a shop called “Fountain of Goodness“, it is also “fearing“. There is more fearing in “Jerusalem“ than there are cash-points. 

 

But this time, I fear, it is a serious fear: the relief of the fear from the Iranian nuclear threat. 

 

Do not fear. We will never remain without our fears. It is a bottomless well. Many have feared, for example, that after taking down Saddam Hussein and “destroying the Eastern front“, we would remain fearless. They had it wrong big time, of course, as our friend Ahmadinejad will attest, as well as his numerous sons, Hamlanitzki and co.

 

As we say, “in every generation they rise up to destroy us“…

 

“Every generation“? Maybe in the distant past the existential fear was at a once-every-generation dose. But since establishing the state we have come very far: the frequency of fears, threats and concerns has reached an annual scare, an existential threat every 6 months, a fear once a week, and daily concern. So fear not: next year we will sit again on the porch and enumerate migrating fears. 

 

Fear of the Saudi plan? The Syrian peace initiative? The ceasefire offered by Hamas? 

 

And what about Pakistan? And the big earthquake expected any minute? But luckily, “fearing“ is only one of 15 permanent and exchangeable states that political “Jerusalem“ staggers through. 

 

Could you list them? 

 

Alphabetically: Amazement in Jerusalem, Concern in Jerusalem, Confusion in Jerusalem, Disparagement, Doubt, Euphoria, Fear, Haze in Jerusalem, Indignation in Jerusalem, Rage in Jerusalem, Resentment in Jerusalem, Respite in Jerusalem, Scuttling in Jerusalem, Shock in Jerusalem, Uncertainty in Jerusalem. But “fear“ - more than the others - is the default - it is “Jerusalem’s“ constant cruising speed.  

 

As in “he who always fears“? 

 

No. As in “where would we be without it?“ … The fear is our drug, our fuel, our joint, our fag, as well as the livelihood of our lobbyists: without our daily fix we just start climbing the walls. Without an external threat - what shall become of the IDF, the IDF Radio, the Security budget, soldiers’ charities, the coalition, the government? Without a clear and immediate danger - all falls to pieces, as did our Minister for Strategic Threats, Avigdor Liberman, on television this week: yada yada, “the Iranian threat remains“, “there is still an Iranian threat“ … “and the Philadelphi Route“ … “Annapolis is not leading anywhere, so I am calm, more than calm“…

 

In short - what the Americans did to us last week was to close the harvest season. Someone shut the power in the mains. 

 

It can be termed “The Atonement Day for Fear“. 16 American Intelligence units have crossed the trench of paranoia and caught us unawares. The strongholds of fear collapsed one after another. There are no words to describe the astonishment in Jerusalem. It was so bad, that some began to fear the fate of the third Temple again!

 

Fearing a nuclear bomb falling here?

 

No, fearing that there is no such bomb on the horizon - and then, what shall become of us? How did the grave-faced military commentators put it? “The American Intelligence Report reduces American action against Iran, but worse still - Israel will be under great strain performing similar attacks.“

 

Hold on, but if Iran doesn’t have the bomb - there is no reason to attack the plants anyway, right?

 

Don’t be a child. And what of the conventional missiles that Iran would launch in response to our own attack? In any case: since when do concrete findings relate to our fears - excuse me - our Intelligence Evaluations? Remember the likes of Amos Gilad who promised to find Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction? Well, you just wait - the search is still on. And even if the Iranians don’t actually have a bomb - the intent is still there. You have any idea how many Palestinians have been arrested or assassinated just because they had an intent? This is the shaping of consciousness through prevention. Fact is, it works: why do you think the Iranians don’t have the bomb? 

 

Like in that joke about the man who stood and waved his arms, explaining that he was keeping elephants away. When they told him there were no elephants, he said: “see how it’s working?“.

 

Why a joke? It is the essence of Israel’s determent policy: excessive fear of excessive complacence, which demands excessive retaliations. Only our conduct as a crazed state may soothe the crazed states around us, as Khomeini told Saddam. And why? Because of the fear, that’s why. 

 

How is Israel going to respond to the American report? We’ve already wasted the air sorties over Bashar’s palace… 

 

Like in any situation of sudden loss, Jerusalem was forced to go through all the familiar stages in a short period of time: first the shock and amazement, then rage, and finally, melancholy acceptance. In this regard, the American Chief of Staff’s visit to Israel was paying condolences. He wished to strengthen and came out strengthened, as consoling generals do. But what of us? To leave us like this, in the cold, without an existential threat to keep us warm? The TV reporter almost cried when he said: “The Chief of Staff has departed, leaving much worry in his wake.“ 

 

Worry that there may not be a war? 

 

How did Graucho Marx put it? “I cannot cancel the war now. I’ve paid rent on the battlefield a month upfront.“ And really, what do you suggest we do with dozens of long range plane bombers? With the Minister for Strategic Threats? With the 50 milliard shekels that are our security budget, plus the 18 shekels from the Shirutrom? What would Netanyahu do without “the Iranian issue“? What would Foreign Affairs do? The Intelligence Unit? 

 

Intelligence have actually recovered rather quickly from the attack of the American report and moved on to a new offence: they reported this week of a fear that 250,000 Israelis will be inside the range of foreign missiles in the coming, happy new year. Congratulations! 

 

You see, and you were getting all worried. Fear, my friend, is the rock of our being; it is the conceptual canvas on which this state was designed: fear of anti-Semitism, replaced by the security fear. That is the whole story. Maybe we’ll go out the occupied territories, maybe we’ll release prisoners. But we will not let them take our fear away. Without it - we have no security policy, foreign policy, public relations. Without it we have nothing. 

 

And I thought the state was based on hope…

 

Hope? Us? Come on! I’m afraid it is time to bring the national anthem up to date - especially the title: what’s wrong with “The Fear“? “The Fear of two thousand years“? “a Jewish soul is yearning“ I would actually leave there.