notes from the nice side of the fence

when I cried they would ask if I had wanted a new toy
when I was tired they would pour me a cup of coffee
when I smiled and laughed they would pat me on my back
when I was silent they’d pop a bottle open
when my fever ran there would always be medicine at hand
when it came down again, maybe a shopping trip
whenever I was bored they would switch the telly on
whenever I was angry - they’d ignore me
when I became depressed there’d be clowns balloons and trumpets
when I became ecstatic it would be met with cold reason
when things went rough they would try and hoist me onto crutches
when things went swimmingly they’d poke and spur me

now that I’ve grown closer
I guess I know a little better
I don’t see everything as in need of fixing

and I tremble at the love that must have driven them those ways
and I’d rather have life flow through me instead

“Full-time approval seeking means that instead of just living your life, you have to act it out. Waiting for a bus on a neighborhood street corner, you can’t just wait for the bus. Every once in a while you have to step off the sidewalk and peer into the distance, doing a performance of someone waiting for a bus. Otherwise, one of the bystanders might think you’re up to no good.”